Well, there is a downside to fucking five times a day.
No, really. There is.
It's the dreaded Urinary Tract Infection.
I swear, everytime I'm having good, regular sex I get a UTI. And I do all
the right things - I pee after sex, drink cranberry juice, wipe front to
back... I get partner to touch me a certain way to minimise the rub, but to
Last year it hit me so bad it went to my bladder and then to my kidneys. I
was on antibiotics for months, which of course brings thrush...
But the worst of it is the fear. The urge, which strikes so fiercely and
so...urgently. MUST. GO. NOW!
I didn't want to go to the movies, in case I had to dash out. I didn't want
to go anywhere unless there was a toilet near. I didn't want to catch the
bus, god forbid an express one. I didn't want to drive. If I hit a freeway,
I'd panic. If there were roadworks, I'd be fucked. I became a hermit. I
didn't want to go anywhere, because the getting there was too stressful.
You never realise how nice it is not to think about going to the toilet all
the time until you have to go ALL THE TIME.
If I was of a certain religious bent I'd say it's punishment for enjoying
myself so much. I'm not, so I just say it's a pain in the - well, belly.
So if you see a girl on the bus, staring wild eyed into the middle distance
and wriggling in her seat, leaning forward as if to will the bus to go
faster... it's probably me.