When I write, I need privacy.
If Partner is walking in and out of the room, I can't write. I become inhibited. If I even think he might walk in and out of the room, I can't concentrate. Even if I plan to let him read the post later.
Is this normal?
If I'm planning something to write, and I get distracted and go into a different headspace, that's the end. I can't write what I'd planned so I don't write at all.
This post was going to be about something else.
The thing is, as much as I've tried to explain this to him, I don't think he understands. I say I'm going to write and he pulls out the guitar and sits down right next to me to play. If I say I'm going to write a particular post, but then get caught up talking, he can't understand why I don't just go and write the post after. But the moment is gone, and I have to somehow get back in the mood. Sometimes I never get back in the mood, and the post just goes the way of so many others - into the deep recesses of my mind.
I used to think that if I found a man I could talk with about anything, things would be perfect and we'd never fight.
Partner and I can talk about anything. But I've come to realise that even when the communication is great, there will still be arguments and differences of opinion. It just means that afterwards, when we calm down, we can discuss what happened and talk about our feelings. It doesn't stop the arguments happening in the first place.
And it doesn't mean we'll always understand each other. Some things, no matter how much we talk about them, we still don't understand. In some ways we're different, and those differences occasionally leave us confused.
One of those differences is my need for absolute privacy when I write. And my need to write that post now, and not later.