27 October 2006

If...

Whenever I drove past the end of my grandmother's street, I'd always look down it to her house. It gave me a sense of reassurance, seeing her house. I felt that all was right in the world.

One day I went out with some friends to play billiards. As we drove back, we passed my grandmother's street, but I looked up too late and didn't see down it.

For some reason I felt a brief feeling of panic. I wanted to ask my friend to reverse the car so I could look down her street. I wanted to leap out of the car and run back. But I dismissed the thought as silly superstition, and we kept going.

If I'd gone back, I would have see my father's car in the street, and my uncles' and aunts' cars. I would have seen the ambulance in the driveway, and the police car. Maybe I would have seen them carrying her body out of the house on a stretcher.

It's been four years now, and I still miss her.

4 comments:

Summer Rose said...

{{hugs}} I know how you feel. I've been where you are, twice once when I was a little girl and the other only three years ago. We don't stop thinking of those who we have lost. We only keep going forward, and yes I still miss them both. There are only happy memories that we keep close to our harts, take each memory and remember the good times.
S.R.

Chaotic Cat said...

This raised every hair on my neck and sent a shiver down my spine.

(((Hugs Hon)))
Chaos's Hummy

ArtfulDodger said...

Wow, also sending HUGS your way - it's a long way, so they may not get there for awhile... but they will get there.

Twenty years agpo a good friend of mine asked me to go swimming with him at the city pool, I decided not to go for some meaningless stupid reason that I've forgotten. He died at the pool, elecrocuted by a vending machine and I've never forgotten it.

Like Summer said, life does go on, but the memories stay with us forever. best to you.

Stinkypaw said...

Sorry for your loss, it's never easy and even if it does get better we always miss the one we truly loved.

I believe that if that one time you didn't look down at her house, she wanted it that way. I don't really believe in coincidence, things happen for a reason. Maybe it was her way of protecting you... Un gros calin