Today when I checked my email I found an invitation from a kayaking centre to do some kayaking in hometown.
WTF? I thought. How did they get my email address? How did they know I love kayaking? I never did it in hometown!
In the end, I realised they'd ripped my email address off some other mailing list I'd signed up to.
I went kayaking only once. Someone convinced me to; it took a lot of convincing. I wasn't very fit. How the fuck could I kayak for ten kilometers?
But I did it. Ten ks down the Brunswick river. It was beautiful. I got the hang of it quickly. It was easy. And afterwards I felt so powerful. I thought if I could do that, I could do anything. It gave me confidence to do some other, bigger things.
In some ways, moving to a new town is like kayaking. It takes a leap of faith, the belief that you can do it. Settling in can be as hard or as easy as you choose to make it, as fast or as slow as you feel comfortable with. But in some ways it's not like kayaking at all. There's no point now when I can say, "Just around the corner and I'll have reached the end". You never know where the end is; in a way, there is no end. You just keep weaving yourself further and further into the new place. And it's not a smooth ride. I thought settling in would be a slow steady progression, like paddling down a lazy river. But instead it comes in fits and bursts like the tide.
Thankyou everyone for your comments on my last post. You all said much the same thing in essence - that it's my headspace that determines how I feel, and that home is where you make it. So very true.