26 January 2007

Expectations and other stuffing

Well, I'm home. And I'm still a bit confused and overwhelmed about our trip back to Hometown.

I couldn't talk to my friends about it because really it was like white noise in my head; I just kept thinking "Wow, it's so wierd to be back here," and really, once you've said that you don't need to say it again. I couldn't elaborate on the thought. I still can't.

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The difference between going on holiday somewhere new and going on holiday back to your hometown is expectations. Sure, you have expectations wherever you go; but when you go home, they're that much more intense, and there's just so many of them. Both our expectations about what we'd do, and everyone elses. And inevitably, some of those expectations don't get met.

I expected to go out and see lots of decent live music; it's something we really lack in the town we're in now. But, although we saw a few bands, we saw none that I expected (and hoped) to see, and the ones we saw were... well... shit to be honest.

I expected to go out and eat lots of good food at resturants I love; for some reason or another we didn't really get around to it much.

I expected to have wild parties, and above all to see everyone as much as we wanted (the reason we took such a long trip). Of course, we got lulled into a false sense of security about how long we had and before we knew it, it was time to leave, with so much left undone.

And other people expected things. Partner's parents expected us to stay with them far more than we wanted to. They live quite far away from everone else, and we wanted to spread the love around. In fact, quite a few people didn't see as much of us as they wanted, or expected.

I feel quite guilty if I don't live up to people's expectations. Well, that's not really true. But I feel guilty if I disappoint people, and I feel like we did that a lot by not going along with other people's plans. Of course, I tell myself that I can't keep everyone happy and they'll get over it. But deep inside I just want to please everyone all the time, and there were a lot of times on this trip where we had to choose between two different people or groups of people, and someone ultimately missed out. That happened both Christmas and New Years, but what can you do? We have friends who don't know each other or have different plans, and we both have family to see.

Expectations are a bitch, but I've learned a lot and I'm better prepared for the next trip back - I'll know what to expect ;)

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I have some photos to download but not many, as my camera packed up pretty much as soon as we got there. I can't be arsed loading them now; you'll just have to wait.

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I also have a few travel stories to tell, but they'll have to wait too until I collect my thoughts and get some rest.

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And thankyou to everyone who kept checking the blog. It gave me warm fuzzies to know that you were interested enough to hang around!

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Finally, a big welcome back to Dirty Filthy Princess, aka Bedroomdancer! I kept you on my blogroll all year hoping you'd return.

3 comments:

Dirty Filthy Princess said...

I totally know what you mean about the expectations thing. I find myself not telling certain people I'm coming home because I just want to crash at my parents and relax. If I ran around visiting everyone, that's all I do is run.

And thanks for the lovely welcome back. I appreciate it so much. And thanks for the vote of confidence, not taking me off your blogroll. I am honored.

hasarder said...

Next time we go back will be a very quick visit, I'm going to have to use your trick and tell as few people as possible!

Summer Rose said...

How did I miss this post? I can't believe it! Sheesh even the new blogger is having issues on updating.
S.R.